Southlands Church Screening
Last Saturday night we had an excellent screening at Southlands church in Brea. There were over 150 in attendance (not all pictured in photo because the room is much bigger). There was laughter, tears and moments where you could hear a pin drop in the room. After the credit roll, the lights came up and we took questions, both by mic and by text. I like the text questions because people tend to be a little more bold, frank.
“What’s the big deal?” one text asked. “Aren’t some guys just kind of wired to have friends and some guys just aren’t?” I was grateful to have good friend and participant in the film, Alan Frow, on the panel with us to field that one. “If there isn’t at least one man in your life who knows what’s knowable about you,” he said, “…you’re dangerous.” Exactly. We often try to put deep, authentic, transparent male relationships down to personal style or dismiss them as “nice to have, but not necessary” and it just isn’t true.
In the way of backdrop, Alan recently found out that a close friend who lives in another country had an affair after 10 years of marriage. In the midst of it, this also married woman became pregnant. Alan had just seen him six weeks prior. They had fun, they laughed, they hugged and everything seemed fine. But it wasn’t. “Why didn’t you say something when I saw you last?” Alan asked after finding out. And his friend just didn’t have an answer.
We are all capable of going off the rails. We are all capable of doing regrettable things. But it is practically inevitable if we don’t share our lives with other men. The “big deal” is that we can’t deal with the pressures of life unless we have the support of other men who have a front row seat in the messy details of our lives.
“If you don’t have at least one man in your life who knows what’s knowable about you, you’re dangerous.” -Alan Frow